Christmas Nuts

Everyone is out on the departmental Xmas lunch.
Marc recieved his Secret Santa (WhatCar? and The Nuts Christmas Special magazines)

Late on during lunch, Adam spills some orange juice all over the table...

Adam: Whoops, sorry people.

Marc: (Very loudly) Bloody hell, watch my Nuts..

Women on the table opposite then gives him a dodgy stare.

Round the Back!

Everyone was having lunch and Marc came out with this beauty...

Marc: Phil, shall I take you up the back way after lunch? I think you said you wanted to see what is was like?!

MASSIVE PAUSE... (followed by an awkward laugh).

(Just to clarify, the back way, is the back stairs up to the processing room)!!!

One size fits all!

Marc: If the shoe fits?

Marc: Wait, if the glove fits..?

Lyndsay: If the cap fits (wear it)?!

Slow is not the word.

Marc: What you talkin' 'bout Willis..

Phil: Gary Coleman said that.

Marc: Yeah that little black guy..

(Marc then looks him up on Wikipedia)

Marc: He's Dead, when did that happen?

Gary Coleman died May 28 2010. RIP

Happy Birthday Postman Pat

Marc: Oh my god.. Postman Pat is only 30 yrs old. He looks well for his age!

Shotgun Sally

Marc: Why isn't Adam in work tomorrow?

Julia: He's at a wedding.

Marc: What kind of wedding?

Phil: A shotgun wedding...

Marc: That's what I want, a shotgun wedding.

Who's your Daddy?

Marc: I wish my Dad was Jay-Z

Phil: Don't you love your Dad for who he is?

Marc: Yeah, my Dad is alright.