Heat absorption

Garry [walks into the office]: It's hot in here.

Marc: That's your fault for wearing such a dark shirt.

Marcipedia

Anthony [walks past Marc's computer, glances at his screen and stops sharply]: Marc, did you just type the word "Nonce" into Google?

[Anthony stays for a few moments more. Horrified, but too fascinated by watching Marc use the internet to move on.]

Anthony: Marc. You can't just go typing words like "flid" into search engines.

Marc [looking worried]: Why not, does someone read it?

Hold that thought

Marc: We should get a telepahy in here.

[The office collectively looks puzzled]

Marc: A telephalist.

[Office is still puzzled]

Marc: A telephalonist.

[Another few minutes pass before the office relises he is talking about a telepath]

Pavlova

[The office is having a discussion about what single food items can change their names when prepared - ie. Bread/toast]

Daz: What about egg whites/meringues?

Andy: That needs sugar.

Marc: What if you're allergic to sugar?

Crispy

Marc: If you barbecue cheese and onion crisps they taste really nice.

Milky

Anthony: What do cows drink?

Marc: Milk.

[Note: this wouldn't be so funny, apart from the fact that Marc falls for it every time.]

Trim

Marc: Never try shaving your pubes with a blunt razor.