Antipodean suspicion

Marc: Is Dame Edna a bloke?

Rock on

Daz [looking at something on the internet]: I've got a picture of a rock growing hair.

Marc [looks]: That's just a rock with a wig in a glass case.

[Then, as if to prove his conclusion]

Marc: Take it to the barbers and then see what happens.

Legs

Marc: I'm amazing at paintball. I never get shot. The only time I got shot was when I stood up by accident.

Smell

[A gorgeous smell of garlic wafts through the window from the Indian restaurant downstairs]

Anthony: Marc, I'll give you a fiver if you can identify that spice we can smell.

Marc: Kiev?

Name of the game

Marc: Andy, I'm gonna have a stab at guessing your mum's name.

Andy: ...

Marc: Janet? Margret?

[Andy doesn't respond]

Marc: Daz, I'm gonna have a stab at guessing your mum's name. Janet? Margret?

[Daz doesn't respond]

Marc: Andy, have a go at guessing my mum's name.

Andy [in desparation]: Gertrude?

Marc: No, but that is my car's name. Well done.

Anne Frank's drumkit

Andy: That's about as much use as Anne Frank's drumkit.

Anthony: Who's Anne Frank?

Marc: She's the one that got locked in a room with a diary, wasn't she?

Show me your papers

Anthony: Would you like a cup of tea, Marc?

Marc: Nein, bitte.