Monday, Monday!

Garry: marc, whens you dad going away?

Marc: Thursday.

Garry: Thats tomorow then...

Marc: Oh, i keep thinking its wednesday.

I can't believe it's not butter

Anthony [shouting out the window to Marc who's going to the shop]: Can you get some margarine?

Marc: What's that?

China in your hand

Marc: My PSP doesn’t play all UMD's.

Daz: You should be able to watch all UMD's if you got it from China, as Japan and china are region 2 like us.

Marc: Yeah but I got it from Hong Kong.

Hard as

[the office is discussing nutrition and Garry is listing the top Things That Are Good For You]

Garry: ...and another is pomegranates.

Marc: I always thought pomegranate was a type of brick.

Down the pan

[Following a discussion about a company who have recently 'pimped' their loos - decorating them in fun ways]

Anthony: I know who'd be good at decorating a toilet

Marc: Laurence Lewellyn-Bowen

God save the queen

[As part of an ongoing project to release Marc out into the wild we occassionaly set him 'real life' tasks. Today's was to post a letter. Marc was given the choice between going to the post office or using the tools around the office to detirmine the postage beforehand so he could just pop over the road and put it in the box. After some initial confusion Marc opted for finding the correct postage and found the scales. I helped out by giving him the correct postage and Marc duly got the book of stamps and stuck one on the envelope... in the top left corner.]

Ring piece

Garry: Where's your new flat then?

Marc: Lower Bristol Road. Near a bed store.

Garry: Oh. Just by the porn shop then.

Marc: Is that where people go to sell their rings and stuff?

What a friend we have in cheeses

Andy [fishing for another post]: Name two different types of cheese, Marc.

Marc: Cheddar....

Daz [interupting]: Go on, say Dairylea.

Marc: Dairylea's butter, isn't it?

Someone better tell them

Marc: Dude, your sea monkeys swim upside down.

Well said

Marc [reading the last post]: 'Phone tick'?

Phonetic

[Darryl is writing the staff's names on a piece of paper and puts Marc down as 'Marc Knob']

Marc: 'Marc Kanoob'?

Please don't

Marc: Hmmm. I've got a sudden urge to pull my trousers down.

Milky

Marc: What's a 'mammal'?

[a cheer goes up as it's been a bit of a desert for Marcisms lately. Then...]

Marc: It's not a fish, is it?