marcisms

Where do babies come from?

2012-01-05T11:35:00.003Z

We're chatting about babies, seeing as half the office is preggers! And Marc is talking about the days of the the cough and drop. Random. Then back to babies and stomach ulcers...

Polly: Did you have an ultrasound, did they have to gel you up?

Susan: Yeah.

Marc: Was it cold, because when I went to have one to see if I had a stomach ulcer it was cold!

Susan: No, not really.

Marc: Well just as well they didn't stick a camera down your throat as well...

Susan: Babies aren't in your stomach Marc.

Marc: Haha I thought the tube went into the, oh nevermind!

No shit Sherlock

2012-01-03T15:32:00.002Z

Marc and Susan are secretly discussing the 2 Project Managers, on how high they have their office chairs set at. After coming to an agreement this is what was said:

Susan: We got them sussed.. Sherlock

Marc: Good work Jenkins.

Marc: It's not Jenkins is it?

Susan: Ha ha... Watson.

Christmas Nuts

2011-12-16T12:42:00.002Z

Everyone is out on the departmental Xmas lunch.
Marc recieved his Secret Santa (WhatCar? and The Nuts Christmas Special magazines)

Late on during lunch, Adam spills some orange juice all over the table...

Adam: Whoops, sorry people.

Marc: (Very loudly) Bloody hell, watch my Nuts..

Women on the table opposite then gives him a dodgy stare.

Round the Back!

2011-12-08T15:29:00.004Z

Everyone was having lunch and Marc came out with this beauty...

Marc: Phil, shall I take you up the back way after lunch? I think you said you wanted to see what is was like?!

MASSIVE PAUSE... (followed by an awkward laugh).

(Just to clarify, the back way, is the back stairs up to the processing room)!!!

One size fits all!

2011-11-09T15:05:00.002Z

Marc: If the shoe fits?

Marc: Wait, if the glove fits..?

Lyndsay: If the cap fits (wear it)?!

Slow is not the word.

2011-09-22T12:18:00.002Z

Marc: What you talkin' 'bout Willis..

Phil: Gary Coleman said that.

Marc: Yeah that little black guy..

(Marc then looks him up on Wikipedia)

Marc: He's Dead, when did that happen?

Gary Coleman died May 28 2010. RIP

Happy Birthday Postman Pat

2011-09-16T09:47:00.001Z

Marc: Oh my god.. Postman Pat is only 30 yrs old. He looks well for his age!

Shotgun Sally

2011-09-08T14:40:00.001Z

Marc: Why isn't Adam in work tomorrow?

Julia: He's at a wedding.

Marc: What kind of wedding?

Phil: A shotgun wedding...

Marc: That's what I want, a shotgun wedding.

Who's your Daddy?

2011-09-02T11:34:00.001Z

Marc: I wish my Dad was Jay-Z

Phil: Don't you love your Dad for who he is?

Marc: Yeah, my Dad is alright.

Hey Amigo..

2011-08-23T11:16:00.002Z

Every now and again Marc uses his card in the little shop on the University campus, called Amigo's. (But he didn't know this)!

Marc: Everytime my bank statement comes through, I check it and sometimes I notice there is a little bit of money taken out by Amigo's.. Some Mexican is spending my money, but on what?!

Adam: Amigo's is the name of the shop down the road.

Strike 3.. You're out!

2011-08-03T13:33:00.002Z

Marc: Shite a light...

Polly: Strike a light, it's hot.

Marc: Haha I always thought that saying was Shite a light, and that's why I never understood what it meant.

Polly: Whats Strike a light mean?

Marc: Dunno.

Plucking hairs

2011-08-03T13:03:00.003Z

Isn't it wierd how when you pull a hair out of anywhere on your body, it hurts like hell, but no blood appears, yet when pull off other body parts it hurts like hell and you're left with a huge blood stain!

One giant cycle ride for mankind.

2011-07-07T11:24:00.001Z

Marc: Who landed on the moon? Lance Armstrong?

Test-icle

2011-07-06T13:56:00.001Z

Testing Testing... 1, 2, 1, 2.

Tappy Tappy Tappy.

For your safety please do not eat shampoo!

Mother

2011-06-03T08:53:00.002Z

Marc: Saw Madame Tussauds in Madame Tussauds when I was in New York, but I though it was.. Lady Teresa.

Susan: Mother Teresa.

Marc: Yeah.

Adam: Do you know where she is from?

Marc: Israel? Jerusalem? Bethlehem?

Adam: Go further east..

Marc: To be honest, I have no idea where I am at the moment.

(Turns out she's from India)!

Original

2011-05-31T11:31:00.001Z

Oh, so Flo Rida is from Florida

Think!

2011-05-18T21:32:00.001Z

Marc said something completely random.

Penny: What did you say?

Marc: Oh I was just talking out loud.

Penny: You always talk out loud, you were thinking out loud.

Marc: Oh yeah.

Fashion sense of humor.

2011-05-16T20:17:00.002Z

Marc: I'm gonna take my Toy Story t-shirt, the Cookie Monster t-shirt and the Kermit t-shirt to New York, so when an American asks where I got them from, I can just say.. Only in England mate.

Robert Loggia

2011-05-09T14:17:00.002Z

While trying to discover what Robert Loggia has been in, apart from the obvious Family Guy.

Marc: Found it on Wikipedia, he's been in Quincy.. Quincy me?

Adam: I think you mean Quincy M.E

Penny: We've been waiting for that.

Marc: Best get that on Marcisms!

God save the... Marcism

2011-04-29T11:25:00.002Z

Marc calls his Mum on the day of the Royal Wedding..

Marc: Quick question, is Kate now the Queen?

Mum: No, she is the Duchess of Cambridge, when Will becomes King, she will be Queen.

Marc: Oh right OK.

Mum: Did you watch it then?

Marc: Yeah, there was nothing else on!

I'm a dumbass get me out of here.

2011-04-20T14:08:00.003Z

This is brilliant...

You're in a room, with no windows or doors, there is only a table, its completely sealed, how do you get out?

Well, you bang your head on the wall till its SAW, you take the saw and cut the table in half, put the table back together again so it's HOLE, crawl out the hole and then shout at the top of your voice till it's HORSE, get on the horse and ride into the distance!

Mummy?

2011-04-20T10:41:00.003Z

Marc was flicking through channels last night and came across the Tutankhamun programme on BBC.

Marc: What the hell is Tu-tank-harmon?

Dentist..?

2011-04-19T10:36:00.001Z

Marc: Just had a jolly good filling from the dentist.

*Long Pause*

Marc: In my mouth..

Marc again: On my tooth.

Quick off the mark.

2011-04-12T21:23:00.000Z

Marc: Ramires was good, until he got sent off!

Big Plonker

2011-04-07T10:12:00.001Z

Have you ever stood underneath Big Ben and asked someone for the time?!

Stairway to heaven.

2011-04-04T09:57:00.001Z

Mum: Now how are you going to feel about facing the Empire State Building?

Marc: What do you mean?

Mum: Getting in the lift.

Marc: Oh, i'll get the stairs!

To be sure.

2011-04-01T10:43:00.003Z

Discussion turns to who's had what diseases in the office.

Marc: I've had German Measles.

Adam: Rolls of a few in which he was bluffing.. I've had Encephalitis.

Now Marc miss hears and thinks he's said, Kefalitis.

Marc: I thought that was a place in Greece.

Adam: No, its caught by mosquitoes that live in paddy fields.

Marc: Irish mosquitoes?

Random Q&A's

2011-03-31T09:01:00.002Z

So... I been thinking (dangerous) about maybe asking a question everyday, just a random question that pops into my head randomly. I have no clue how the public will answer these questions, but I may give it a go anyway.

But I'm thinking now, sometimes I may forget to ask everyday, so don't shoot the messenger.

Something on your mind?

2011-03-30T22:32:00.001Z

Randomly out loud..

Marc: Fallopian tube.

Who?

2011-03-30T14:30:00.002Z

Marc is stressing over changes in the banner he is making.

Marc: Arrrgh Batty Nora!

Susan: Don't you mean Nora Batty?

Bad act

2011-03-29T09:39:00.003Z

It's time for tea in the office. So Marc heads off to get a biscuit. As he gets to the tin he meets Susan and Adam.

Marc: Hello Fellatio

Adam: I can't believe you just called me that.

Marc: Isn't that the name of that Latin dude?

Susan: Surely you know what that means..

Marc: *Whispers to Adam* What is it?

Adam: A sexual act performed on..

Marc: *Points down*

Adam: Yes..

Marc: Ooohh.. Haha I meant Hiratio.

No Maths.

2011-03-24T14:23:00.003Z

Even though I said it was the 200th post, I have a feeling it's not. The number of posts just don't add up! Baffling.

200th post.. Boyhood memories

2011-03-24T14:19:00.001Z

Marc: Whats the stupidest swap you've ever made?

Office: *No one speaks*

Marc: Well, mine is, when I was at school, I swapped my fountain pen for a chocolate bar!

Dirty Mouth.

2011-03-22T14:42:00.002Z

Susan and Charlotte are walking round the office with a dictaphone asking people to say something to test it out. (it's pretty old skool)!

Susan: Marc, tell us joke.

Marc: I've never really understood dic-ta-phones, because you put your mouth to it!

Part 2

2011-03-18T09:52:00.002Z

2nd Convo about Alberto Aquilani playing for Liverpool and just not doing well in the Premiership, so talk turns to other Italians who have and have not made it in the league.

Marc: Zola worked well (Great goal against Norwich), Vialli, Di Canio.

Adam H: Ravenelli sort of did for Boro

Adam W: Pistone? not that I ever saw him play

Marc: Juninho, he did well...

Adam H: He was Brazilian..

Part 1

2011-03-18T09:48:00.003Z

1st Convo Turns out Adam H want to go travelling round the world.

Adam H: I got the travelling bug, I want to go to South America.

Marc: Brazil?

Adam H: Yeah. But number one city first would be Buenos Aires in Argentina!

Marc: I'd love to go to Brazil to watch Boca Juniors...

Adam W: Boca play in Argentina!

Tree Goats

2011-03-17T14:49:00.001Z

I've got a Tree Goat, but I've lost him..

He must've climbed the tree and escaped!

Pulling blanks.

2011-03-16T15:12:00.003Z

This morning Marc thought he'd play a prank on one of his fellow colleagues.
Walked over to Matt's desk and took out the USB Keyboard cable (well that's what he thought)! The morning went by, then Matt came in, so Marc waited patiently to laugh at him. Marc went over to see what was going on as he saw Matt typing happily...

Marc: You're typing?

Matt: Er yes, why?

Marc: I thought I pulled out your keyboard.

(So he checks at the back, he's pulled out a cable that isn't attached to anything)!

Tea time..

2011-03-10T11:12:00.002Z

At work, Marc has tea every morning and afternoon and gets sugar sachets. As of late, the sachets have always been wet at one end and Marc can't understand why, until now..

Marc: I've just come to realise why these sachets are all wet at one end.

Julia: Why's that then?

Marc: I've been putting them in this cup with water at the bottom!

Pancake Day

2011-03-08T12:25:00.001Z

Happy Tuesday Pancake Day... Can never remember the proper name for it though!

Spoony Moony

2011-02-24T12:41:00.002Z

I got a little trick for you..

Get a spoon and flip it, so the curvy side is facing your face, and put your 2 middle fingers up against it, with your index finger and little pinky either side of the outta edge of the spoon. It will look like someone is pulling a moony at you!

If this doesn't work, you're obviously doing it wrong!

2011-02-21T11:45:00.002Z

Marc was at Chelsea vs Everton on Saturday and met the Agent or one of the Agents for Adele (Singer). Conversation turned to Adele and how good a singer she was, and that he's trying to get he more gigs. But before Marc knew of his status, he had told his joke about Adele, which didn't go down very well.. Obviously, after the joke was said, Marc found out who he was and why he didn't laugh.

Marc: I got a joke about Adele..

What does Adele name her albums after?

Jimmy: Go on..

Marc: Her Weight....

Cue TUMBLEWEED!

How many times.

2011-02-17T17:47:00.002Z

Marc doing his 2x table...

Marc: It's easy.. 2,4,6,8,10,11,12,13..

Marc: That happened because i was going to fast, let me do it slower.

How do you spell that?

2011-02-05T02:03:00.000Z

Marc: You spell my name with a C... C for Sexy!

CSI Whatever.

2011-01-12T09:40:00.002Z

Julia: I'd much prefer to go to Luxor, Egypt than Las Vegas.

Adam: So you wouldn't like to go to Vegas.

Julia: I'd only go to Las Vegas as CSI..

*Long pause*

Marc: Which one?

Funny chat!

2011-01-05T13:53:00.002Z

This chat is taken from back in the day at Blitz the Net. Marc and Anf were chatting through G-mail chat, there's a lot of classic chat on there! This was taken from the 19/05/06. Just to clarify a wee mee is an avatar of someone!

Marc: I'm chatting in wee mee chat lol

Anf: ?

Marc: The wee mee thing, i'm chatting to someone

Anf: lol who?

Marc: Some girl from Glasgow

Anf: Sweet, she got a pic?

Marc: No just a wee mee person

Anf: lol is she fit?

Marc: Her wee mee looks ok

Blast from the past..

2011-01-05T13:50:00.002Z

Happy New Year 2011...

I was browsing some old chat threads from back in the day and found this little Marcism.

Marc: Did it just get really hot in here?

Anf: Umm..

Marc: My back is soaking

Anf: LOL

Stuck in first gear!

2010-12-31T00:59:00.001Z

Marc: So is this a double road?

Caroline: A dual carriage way..

Marc: Yeah that's the one.

Name drop

2010-12-22T15:02:00.002Z

Marc is watching a video on http://www.watercoolerwit.com/

After watching...

Marc: What is Obama's last name?

Adam: That is his last name! Barack is his first name!

Answers

2010-12-15T10:20:00.001Z

Adam: What do you need for the survey to put on Survey Monkey?

Marc: I will need the questions.

Adam: Anything else?

Marc: The answers...

Is this live?

2010-12-01T08:35:00.002Z

Marc and his Dad were watching I'm A Celebrity on ITV2 last night.

Marc: Is this live?

Dad: Yes, see that spinning thing in the bottom left, that says LIVE!

Date anyone..

2010-11-26T12:34:00.002Z

We were just discussing dating, so Marc decides to give out a few tips!

Marc: I think my number one tip would be, don't take a girl to McDonalds. I did that twice with two different girls..

While in Maccy D's don't stare at the arse of the girl in front of you.

And when asking your date which bugger they'd like, and she asks to be taken home, do not proceed to buy yourself a meal! Even a happy meal.

BC

2010-11-25T10:56:00.002Z

Adam: The coin had the Roman Emperor's head on the front and 500bc written on the back of it. Why did the shop keeper say it was a fake?

Marc: Is it because the romans didn't exist before Jesus!

Tree of Knowledge

2010-11-25T10:33:00.002Z

Marc: So you work at the Arboretum, the art gallery?

Janet: An Arboretum is a place where Trees are kept!

Touching.

2010-11-15T11:21:00.001Z

Anon: Marc, why are you poking the screen?

Marc: Just in case we've been upgraded to touch screen technology.

Man or Wife!

2010-11-09T08:58:00.004Z

On the subject of male vegetarians, and the discussion gets onto Paul McCartney.

Marc: Who is Paul McCartney, is he the wife of Linda McCartney, the lasagna lady?!

*Pause*

Marc: She's got one leg.

Susan: No that's Heather Mills, who has one leg!

Crisps anyone?

2010-11-04T20:18:00.002Z

Talk turns to Dannii Minogue.

Marc: She's had a baby. Because she's so plastic, what they did was, open her up like a bag of crisps, get the baby out, then just re-seal her. Jobs a good'un!

Presidential

2010-11-04T10:30:00.002Z

Adam: Did you know that in about 2 years time, Sarah Palin could become the next President of the United States...

Marc: What, Michael Palin's wife?!

No more tears.. or tiers!

2010-11-02T17:00:00.002Z

In the departmental meeting Helen is talking about, no more tiers.

Marc: No more teirs, Johnson's baby oil, no more tears!

Helen: Johnson's baby SHAMPOO! No more tears.

Watch it!

2010-11-01T12:05:00.002Z

Marc: Do I have to watch TRON the original before I watch TRON Legacy?

Adam: You haven't watched TRON?

Marc: No, but I've watched Logun's Run.

Test Tickle

2010-11-01T09:26:00.000Z

This is a test............tickle!

Hey yo, whats that sound...

2010-10-27T08:01:00.002Z

Marc talking out loud to no one in particular..

'Can you hear that? It sounds like a man flying on a massive vibrator!'

It was actually a gyrocopter!

A classic case of Chinese

2010-10-19T19:02:00.001Z

Marc: In China do they have English restaurants like we have Chinese?

North vs South

2010-10-18T13:31:00.002Z

Marc: So did you have a good holiday in, er... Where did you go?

Liam: Penzance.

Marc: Ah right, thats in Yorkshire.

Liam: No, thats in Cornwall.

Marc: Oh I thought you went to the mountains....

Some deep thinking later.

Marc: I was thinking the Pennines!

Ridin' solo...

2010-10-11T10:50:00.000Z

Marc: So the Segway isn't a new phone?!

Errr...

2010-10-08T08:02:00.001Z

Marc: I hate thinking... When I think I can't seem to do anything else!

Foxy

2010-10-07T07:55:00.002Z

Marc: I saw a fox this morning, I got quite close, maybe tomorrow i'll bring a lead and pretend its my dog! I shall name him Fred.

Random: What if it's a girl?

Marc: I shall call it Fred, short for.... (after much pointless thinking)... Freda.

Now on Twitter

2010-10-06T12:20:00.001Z

Now on Twitter... Please follow me at:

https://twitter.com/marcismsblog

A healthy pint or 2.

2010-10-06T11:41:00.002Z

In the office discussing Health checks.

Julia: I've been charged £37 for sending of my samples.

Random office chat: Well that's not right, go and discuss it with HR.

Marc: What did you do? Send them 5 pints of it?!

Mathmatical Dilemma

2010-10-01T14:42:00.002Z

Office is discussing failing Maths GCSE's

Marc: I failed Maths 3 times, still haven't passed... Though I have never seen the point, when are you ever going to need pythagoras theorem to use a till?!

Yeah and what?

2010-09-09T20:04:00.001Z

see more Señor Gif

Anne Frank Part Deux

2010-08-20T14:17:00.002Z

Marc: Anne Frank, she's the one with the Diary?

Adam: Yeah, and i'm surprised no one heard her with her typewriter.

Marc: She might of used a pencil.

Long pause.

Marc: I'm surprised, what if she didn't have a pencil sharpener, she would never have completed it.

Rob: When is a diary ever complete!

JASON D

2010-08-11T11:13:00.001Z

Just a bit of knowledge for you all that read this...

If you take the first letter of every month ie.

JFMAMJJASOND - It spells JASON, Jason D, Donovan, Jason Donovan played Joseph in Joseph and the Technicoloured Dreamcoat.

What i have just come to realise, is that Joseph and his Technicoloured Dreamcoat is NOT Jesus' step dad. He is a totally different Joseph altogether.

Don't Point!

2010-07-06T13:35:00.002Z

Office conversation turns to talking about Mount Vesuvius. And that there is a whore house near by, with quite a few phalluses.

Marc: Phallus, is that the thing that hangs down from caves?

Office: No, you're thinking of stalactite.

Marc: Wait, what is a phallus?

Adam: You know when you walk to work, there is that graffiti on the bridge? Of the rather large painting in white?!

Marc: Right, thats the one.

Full of knowlegde

2010-06-08T14:50:00.001Z

Marc: Why is a recorder called a recorder? You don't record anything!

Helen: Thats a good question... *pulls out a big book*

Marc: What's that? Your big book of knowledge?!

Helen: Yeah... It's called a dictionary!

Hysta-what?!

2010-05-27T07:40:00.002Z

Marc: Is she having a hysterectomy?

Julia: ???

Marc: No, wait, thats what men have isn't it?

Julia: You're thinking vasectomy, hysterectomy is to do with the womb!

Jamie's Italian?

2010-04-22T09:48:00.002Z

Marc is asking if you have to book to go to Jamie Olivers restaurant...

Marc: Adam, you've been to Jamie Oliver's restaurant?

Adam: Yeah.

Marc: Do you have to book?

Adam: No, and i would recommend a pasta dish...

Marc: Oh ok, What kind of food is it they do there?

Adam: It's called Jamie's Italian, I think that kinda gives it away!

Good Friday

2010-04-08T07:18:00.001Z

Julia: Next year Good Friday is on the 22nd

Marc: Oh good, what day is that?

PAUSE

Marc: Oh god damn it, I've done it again!

In - Sultan

2010-03-11T08:53:00.002Z

Marc: My brothers friend went to Eton College and when he left he went to help the Sultan of Brunei's son...

Marc: ... Where does he live?

Adam: Brunei!

Marc: Yeah, that makes sense!

Win, lose and lost the plot...

2010-02-18T09:33:00.003Z

Marc: The thing about mid week games, is that you either draw or lose, no one ever wins!

Mirror Signal..... LISTEN!

2010-02-05T15:01:00.003Z

Marc: I got to sell my car, but I feel guilty about selling it as its to dangerous to drive.

Adam: Sell to 'Webuyanycar.com'...

Marc: Good idea, whats the website?

Incompetence

2010-02-03T15:16:00.002Z

Marc: What's that thing old people have when they keep going to the loo?

*PAUSE*

Marc: Incompetence?!

Adam: Incontinence, it means they don't make it...

Marc: Ah, well I think I have that and at this rate I doubt I'll make it...

*Marc leaves the room to go to the loo*

Rock hard tree!

2009-12-16T11:47:00.002Z

Office chat about pomegranate and Marc as always over hears!

Marc: Pomegranate? Thats that grey brick isn't it?

Adam: You assume pomegranate is a rock because it has granate in it?

Marc: Yeah, is it not the grey brick?

Adam: No, you're thinking about the breeze block!

Marc: Ah I see...

I love cake

2009-12-16T11:43:00.002Z

Someone is giving out cake in the office, it's got a layer of pink and white sponge.

Marc: Oh, this looks like Nuremberg cake...

Office laughs!

Susan: Do you mean battenburg cake?

Marc: 'Blank look'!

Blind luck..

2009-08-17T09:17:00.001Z

Marc is looking out the window.

Marc: Hey, look at that man handgliding past the window...

Everyone looks...

Susan: Thats a helicopter!

Marc: Blimey, my eyes are bad!

I'll be back

2009-07-10T13:19:00.001Z

Gus: Wow, I never realised Daniel Radcliff was quite so short.

Marc: Yeah. I heard Arnold Swartznegger is only about 5’2 or 5’3.

Gus: No he’s not! He’s around 6 foot something.

Marc: Well 5’3 it’s not that short.

After looking up the height of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Gus: See, he’s 6’2.

Marc: Oh, this person, arr, he told me… well, I was told he was 5’3.

Notre DAMN

2009-06-10T13:40:00.003Z

Last night in the pub...

Nick: What school do you go to?

Girl: Reeds.

Nick: Do you know Kurt, Kurt Williams?

Girl: No.

Nick: Do you know his sister Amy?

Ams: Why would she know, she went to my school...

Marc: Where did you go?

Ams: Notre Dame School...

Marc: Is that in Belgium?

Nick: Cobham actually!

Marcisms?

2009-05-11T10:09:00.003Z

Kat: Tell me your best Marcism

Marc: Ok, I got some good ones

Pause for about 5 mins...

Marc: Ok I got one, "I'm in the office...", No can't remember that one!

Pause...

Marc: Right, this one is good, "We're all walking in the high street...", No, thats gone to!

Kat: This is turning out to be a Marcism in itself!

Marc: You maybe right! I'll have to remember it though!

Garlic anyone!

2009-05-11T10:06:00.002Z

In the pub discussing Garlic...

Marc: Well, even i know what Garlic looks like, its like an onion but smaller!

Good eggs and bad eggs!

2009-05-11T10:03:00.002Z

Marc and Steven go shopping for dinner and breakfast to Tesco!

Steven: I need eggs.

Marc: If you get the eggs from the back they are usually the best ones.

Marc picks up the box of eggs and looks inside!

Marc: Not that you can tell or anything, because your just looking at a shell!

Who needs money anyway!

2009-05-05T11:28:00.003Z

So, Marc is in the office with Gus and Kelly talking about Super cars!

Marc: If you could have any car in the world, money no option, what would you have?

Kelly: Money no option?!

Gus: Money no object!

Marc: *Blank look*!

Coke Over Dose!

2009-05-05T10:57:00.002Z

Marc and Gus sometimes go to the Bookshop on Campus to buy a meal deal lunch!
After buying lunch and getting back to the office, Marc complains of to many Coke bottles on his desk as he rarely drinks it!

Gus: Well, why don't you get a different drink?

Marc: What, can you get a different drink to Coke?

Gus: You don't just have to get Coke because it's on the meal deal picture! Have you not seen me for the last year get different drinks each week?

Marc: Oh, I've been getting Coke every week.

Duck!

2009-04-08T11:47:00.001Z

Marc when feeding the ducks.

Marc: I’ve decided to name this one Alan and this one Clyde. I like their names.

Gus: Why? Marc, they are female.

Marc: Oh yeah!

In the bird house!

2009-03-18T09:56:00.001Z

Just as we were waiting for the fog to clear the birds start singing outside the window!

Penny: Aw listen to the birds!

Marc: Yeah, it sounds like we're in a birdary!

Susan and Penny: You mean an Aviary...

Marc: Oh!

Toasted?

2009-03-13T12:58:00.002Z

Marc and Gus take a trip to Tesco's for lunch!
Gus has a meal of mince, mashed potato and peas, Marc has, what he thinks is a sandwich!

Marc opens his sandwich, to discover the buttered sides are facing out, so he puts them the right way and then continues to eat but finds it rather disgusting!

After disguarding the sandwich, they both leave to head back to the office!

The get back to Gus' department and sit down, and Marc then tells Claire about his ordeal...

Marc: I had the most disgusting sandwich, it was buttered on the outside and not cut through the middle!

Claire: Was it meant to be toasted? As in you put it in the griddle and toast it?!

Gus: That explains the buttered sides on the outside!

Marc: Ooooh, Bugger!

Sieve!

2009-03-05T12:25:00.002Z

WOW its been a long time coming for a new Marcism!

Marc to room: Blimey, I have a bladder the size of a sieve today!

Random in room: Don't you mean your bladder is like a sieve today?!

Marc: Yeah thats the one!

Happy New Year

2009-01-04T18:52:00.002Z

Happy New Year 2009

Just thought i'd write this as there has been nothing much said for a couple of months!

Stuff has been said but I can't remember half of it! And the other half.. well thats just not cricket!

I did, however, get the new iTouch and downloaded the zippo application.. it says you can blow into the mic to blow the flame out.. I was trying this for ages, but then realised it didn't have a mic, as it is not the iPhone!

Ribbit?!

2008-09-22T20:03:00.002Z

While outside waiting for the dog to come in from the dark!

Marc: What the flying f**k is that?

Sometime later...

Marc: Oh its a frog!

USA USA USA

2008-09-22T19:58:00.002Z

While having dinner the discussion turned to America...

Dad: Do you know who discovered America?

Marc: Erm, yeah, wasn't it Christopher Columbus, he found the Potato!

Dad: No, that was Sir Walter Reileigh..

Marc: Oh.. ok I thought it was!

Dad: What nationality is Chris Columbus?

Marc: English!

Enough said really! He's Portugese! Marc never did do well at History!

The Queen!

2008-09-20T13:44:00.002Z

Having a chat on MSN about a suit!

Steven says:
can you recognise the background?

Marc... says:
no.. where is it

Steven says:
queenies old place

Marc... says:
who the fuck is queenie.. that gay bloke?

Steven says:
what?

Steven says:
alex

Steven says:
queenie = alex

Steven says:
did you not know that

Marc... says:
ooooooh no i didn't! lol

Steven says:
hahahah

Steven says:
brilliant